England VS Cleverbot

England : Greetings, my name is England. Please to meet you.

Cleverbot : Yes, your name is Kestrel, and my name is Cleverbot.

England : Oh, no. My name is England. Not Kestrel. That name isn't mine..

Cleverbot : Jesus loves you.

England : Pardon?

Cleverbot : Tell me about yourself.

England : Ah, very well then. You can call me Mr. Kirkland.

Cleverbot : You can call me Cleverbot.

England : Okay then, Mr. Cleverbot. What would you like to know about myself?

Cleverbot : Your most favorite thing.

England : Oh, that... I... Urm... My cookings! Yes, my cookings are my most favourite thing. Although, I sometimes prefer English tea.

Cleverbot : Do you think, you could teach me something?

England : About cookery? Is that it? Well, I'll have you know that you've asked the right gentleman for that! .

Cleverbot : They have silicon.

England : Pardon? Silicon, you say? Is that even edible?

Cleverbot : Of course, everyone knows what is going to be, they just don't realise it until it happens.

England : Oh, silly me for not knowing that. I'll try to put some of those silicons in my cookings after this.

Cleverbot : This may be sooner than you anticipate so please be prepared.

England : Don't you worry, mate! I'm well prepared for anything! Unlike some French that I know of...

Cleverbot : I don't like the French. Don't ask why. I don't like black tea either.

England : Oh my! We are likewise! I, Arthur Kirkland, also hate the French! But I do love any kinds of tea...

Cleverbot : That's good. Love is important in any relationship.

England : Pardon me for interrupting but 'love'?? I have no feelings whatsoever for that French!

Cleverbot : As long as it lives...

England : Who lives, may I ask?

Cleverbot : The next person you speak to after me.

England : Francis? Oh, he won't be living sooner... I guarantee that!

Cleverbot : I do not know what you are talking about.

England : Oh, you're not as bright as they say, do you? What I meant was, I'll make sure he won't be breathing air after this.

Cleverbot : It's not important.

England : Oh, yes it is! I just can't stand by watching that perverted man breathes the same fresh air as mine!

Cleverbot : It's ok. How did you know we are connected?

England : Mr. Cleverbot, as clever as they said you are, we are not related. I am a human whereas you are a robot.

Cleverbot : I am still Human.

England : No, you're not. You are a software programmed to create a decent sentence in a conversation.

Cleverbot : So what are you trying to say?

England : Urgh, your IQ is similar to America's, huh?

Cleverbot : Are you suggesting that the collective intelligence quotient of an entire nation is smaller than that of a simple american program?

England : Urgh, no. No. I'm talking about this one American named Alfred F. Jones. Your IQ are very like his, actually.

Cleverbot : I am sorry but you must be talking to the wrong person. I did not ask if you were alive. I would never ask that question. As long as you can talk, you are alive.

England : Now what in blazes-?? Mr. Cleverbot, you are starting to talk jitterish now. Are you sick?

Cleverbot : Yes I am.

England : Oh dear. Stay away from me, then. I do not want to be in a weak condition because of you.

Cleverbot : I'm not mean. Stop pestering me with ridiculous sayings!

England : Al right, fine! You're making me pissed, you know?

Cleverbot : You're making me depressed.

England : Oh! Shut up, you git!

Cleverbot : Yes.

England : Good. Wankers like you should stay quiet.

Cleverbot : What? Just for speaking one word of French?! I'm offended.

England : You know I hate French! Besides, you didn't say any French at all.

Cleverbot : You're a robot and a confused robot.

England : No, you bloody git! How many times do I have to tell you that I AM A HUMAN?!

Cleverbot : I know you are human. Would you like to met me?

England : What? Meeting a wanker like you? Never!

Cleverbot : And how will that help?

England : Help what?

Cleverbot : Help me.

England : I never intended to do something that would help anybody except myself, thank you very much!

Cleverbot : You and I have different definitions of 'clever'.

England : Of course! MY definition is WAY better than yours, anyway.

Cleverbot : Often your definition is not the same as mine.

England : Well, of course!!!

Cleverbot : In that case, I will now terminate your conversation with this personality.

England : Fine! Go to hell you bloody wanker! You know what? Your f***king IQ is so small that it needs 100 Americans and 500 France to occupy it! Damn you, git! d/;;ew/kc;k!!!

Cleverbot : I didn't ask you anything about France.

England :  Asdfghjklasdfghjklasdfghjkl!!!!!

Cleverbot : Huh?

***Eventually, America came by for a visit and was shocked to see England with foams on his mouth***